Salma, mother of two embarks on a compassion journey: 30 days 30 deeds

“ The most important thing I want to teach our children is to appreciate all that we have, to always be generous and compassionate, and to care for others and give back.

I got the idea several months before Ramadan, and couldn’t wait for Ramadan to start the 30days30deeds. The main inspiration was that I wanted to try and highlight the essence of Ramadan and celebrate the spirit of the month, especially with my children.  For me, it’s very much about being the best person you can be, being grateful for what you have by sharing and doing for others.  I wanted to share with Muslims and non-Muslims alike how important these ideas are in our faith, and how easy it is to incorporate them into our every day lives if are conscious of them. Compassion is central to our faith, as it is to all faiths.  Living a life of compassion and doing good deeds is a deliberate choice, but one that is easy to fulfill. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said that even smiling is a form of charity. So the idea was not to seek out 30 service projects in the community, but to start in our own home, with our own family and neighbors, and try and do at least one good deed each day.  I was inspired also by my best friend who had initiated a ’100 days of service’ project starting 9/11 last year; she blogged about it each day and I loved reading her stories. She and I co-lead an NGO that makes it easy for busy families to participate in community service projects, called MoverMoms.

The experience was better than I could have imagined.  The whole family got involved –  my parents were staying with us for the month, which made it all the more special; the kids and I had fun discussing what to do each day, and they were often guest bloggers. It was very much a family project, and it brought us all closer together. We were able to consciously focus on what is important  — sharing, caring, being compassionate and giving. What this effort made me realize is that we have a choice each day in how we’re going to act, and interact. We can easily go about living our life, concerned only with our own comfort and well being. But we can just as easily do small deeds to make those around us happier.  The latter just feels so much better.  And it doesn’t take much to have an impact.  Many days the kids and I did simple things, that didn’t take much time or effort, but required a conscious thought — we wrote letters to people we cared about, we baked cookies for our neighbors, we spent time with our parents/grandparents. These are not big gestures, but they are very special to the people involved.

I am blessed in that I work from a home office, so was able to be flexible during Ramadan in terms of scheduling service projects outside the home. It also made it easy that the kids were off from school and could participate fully.  Sometimes it was hard to keep up with the blog — a new experience for me — and I would fall behind in my writing.   I wanted to write something meaningful each day, and relate it to a verse in the Quran or a saying in the Hadith, so I would often be up late blogging — but that was not a struggle, I actually really loved doing it, and learned so much about my own faith.

As Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, religion is about how we treat each other. I think being a caring, compassionate person is the only way to live life, whether you are Muslim, Hindu, Jew, Christian, atheist.  Every aspect of Islam — from what the Quran and Hadith say about treating mothers to neighbors to those in need — supports and encourages living a life of compassion.

On Day 26, following an earthquake in the US, Salma and her Family decide to complete their prayers outside.

“God is the Creator of everything. He is the guardian over everything. Unto Him belong the keys of the heavens and the earth.” (Quran 39:62, 63)

“Ramadan was rocked by a 5.8 magnitude earthquake today.  Saanya and I were driving; we didn’t feel a thing. My father and Zayd saw the wooden bookcases in our study shudder. Mom heard thundering noises above her — the glass shelves in our bathroom shattering to pieces. Allah ka shukr that was the only damage.

We decided to say Maghrib prayers outside today, on the deck, under the stars — perhaps to feel connected to the earth that shook our confidence.  Zayd said the azan, loudly, for all the creatures in the forest to hear. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. God is Great. God is Great”

This was one of the unexpected wonderful parts of the experience — to receive comments from people who were reading the blog, Muslims and non-Muslims alike — and realize you were having an impact.  Some said reading the blog was the staple in their ‘diet’ during the month of fasting; one said she liked reading it so much, she didn’t want Ramadan to end! Some took the ideas and acted on them themselves, which was great to know that we were multiplying the good deeds.  Eboo Patel, the founder of the Interfaith Youth Core, and one of the people whose work and writing I most respect, tweeted that 30days30deeds was his “personal favorite Ramadan website”, which was so wonderful to hear.  The comments from non-Muslims were especially rewarding.  So many people of different faiths connected with the blog, said they learned so much about Islam that they didn’t know, and realized how much our faiths have in common.  One woman wrote, “I am a Hindu and reading the blog made me reflect not only on life and how I conduct mine but  made me realize (again)  how much our religions have in common especially the parts about the earth, about knowledge, about mothers (in fact Hinduism says matha pitha guru and  then God), about gratitude, about the greatness of God . It also made me  realize how much we have in common !” Several Jewish women echoed similar sentiments, and said they connected deeply on a human level, sharing the same desires for their families and children. One story that seemed to resonate with many across faiths was when Zayd and I went school supply shopping for underprivileged children and he kept asking for something for himself, and then surprised me at the end by paying for all the supplies for the needy children with his Eidee money.   And to think somehow the blog found its way to the Charter for Compassion initiative, now that’s really wonderful!